my life. my stories.
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Monday, July 3, 2006
6.55pm.
First day back at school for Term 3. Literally the last few months of classes for life.
With the return to crappy msj grounds, i, in the morning before making the arrival to the property had unscrewed the little piercing ball on my lip, with the bar remaining in my mouth.
There was difficulty keeping it from moving around. Only the worst had become at recess. I was eating lunch && in time i'd noticed the bar managed to remove itself. Panic struck because only 2 weeks had passed since, and nothing was meant to be taken out, regardless of whether such an occurrence is/was incident or accident.
Got Alison to come with me to the toilets to attempt placing the piercing bar back through. IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE TO HAVE EVEN BOTHERED ATTEMPTING in doing so myself as I didn't realise the dangers it caused afterwards.. Until i started moving the bar that was halfway in my mouth to reach past to the outside end.
As soon as it reached in/out both holes, I almost collapsed. My spine went cold, shock overtook my body in a snap. Was barely able to speak, move, think and keep calm as the dizziness increased.
1 or 2 close friends held my arms up in case of any falling. Stomach pains hit the next moment. Luckily enough, fainting/passing out didn't occur. Ash took me to sick bay. Hurt continued. Became inapt even to walk around etc to take panadol. No more lip piercing as of this moment. I lay in the school bed & put away the bar, hoping the pain'd just fucking go away. Mum had to risk leaving work at 11am & for the rest of the day (school policy that parent/guardian has to pick sick student up from the school for home if/when necessary).
Spoke on the net to Steve about what happened. The conclusion as to why i almost collapsed was because when the lip bar was being shoved around literally inside, a nerve possibly came into contact, to which then triggered it. Never attempting such an idiotic move like that again -_-"
During the last and only two recent weeks with the piercing, i've evaluated that:
- I didn't allow myself to eat as much because it was a pain doing so with a new swollen lip & the fear of infection/piercing screwing up somehow etc. OR simply lost appetite for the same reasons.
- I restrained from smiling and laughing much, naturally, to prevent any lip rippage.
- Had only ever thought about my lip/mouth, if it was okay, etcetc. too cautious & distracted from it to speak to friends, blindly avoiding everything else most important etc
- that if i really wanted to do screaming vocals whether in spare time or more in terms of musical devotion/enhancement, plus moshing at Taste of Chaos this October (along with guy friends) in the Chaos pit. Am better off without one.
- going to miss it
- Pointless having it with 4 and a half mths left of school behind me for life, would have to go through trouble hiding metal ball etc. (school policy does not tolerate piercings because the principals an original bitch. Control freak like no other.
- Another reason for being better off without one is that the particular piercing has gone beyond a common trend/fad. Puts me off really.
- Can always get it re-done/re-pierced when schools over. If i choose to.
Didn't say much to mum of the real situation at school as she'd lecture, scream and hit endlessly. Telling her the whole deal, the reason, the cause for the close collapse (which was hitting a nerve in my lip plus little bit of blood) would've gotten me murdered by now.
For the first time was told not to go to school the next day & Simply REST. not hw. just res, forced to clean bedroom,. Sleep. yeah.
Since then..
Mum's booking me a doctor's visit ( i requested for maths teacher is concerned. he's a nice teach though) - to see if im ANEMIC. i think i am. injections/blood tests dont lie. She's blaming the LACK of sleep 100% for the cause of i becoming so. Asked my friend at school if sleep has any association with anemia, and found by her response that it's all one big piece of "FUCKING FRAUDULENT BULLSHIT" so that i would be scared of her and to make me listen to what she says and follow her orders. Don't think im going to bother at all with being miss sunshine goody two shoes if mummy dear continues to play mind controlling games.
i have a laptop && internet && sleep curfew time at 10pm, which is complete crap because then i can't get my school shit done at all at home, especially media!! -_-" oh fuck. But wait! there's more! She and/or a family friend uses the phone during my internet time etc. which in perspective is no excuse for extensions.
might add/edit more info later... tired.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Saturday: june 17
It was my cousin’s 18th. (debut) We ended up driving about 2/3 kilometres further ahead of the place & were about 2 hours late. Mum kept screaming because of it. She almost considered going right home. Luckily for my sake, aunt (driver) gave it one more shot to get the directions right. Then we got there.
In the hours of lateness, never thought my entrée was going to come, but upon arrival,
The food everyone had beforehand I got in 5 minutes of having sat down at the table.
The birthday turned out good & none of the cousins hassled me about refusing to take part in the dance etc.
Was the best thing to see charlotte in that gorgeous white dress enjoying her night. She deserves so much more.
The most fun part of the night was when cousins & their friends got onto the dancefloor forming a small circle. All of us danced. ‘Twas great.
Sunday: june 18
Sophie’s sweet 16. Went city. Felt a little upset for 1 to 2 hours or some shit. Don’t know what the hell was wrong with me because I didn’t want attention. Sorry guys for seriously being a sook over something (or nothing) I’ve no idea of. I feel bad :(
Met Rikki’s awesome friend Nat. hehe. Felt better with her company. Specially when went to off ya tree to get my lip pierced. She kept making me laugh & it was soo stupid but funny. I had to try hard not to piss myself giggling etc. hehe har har.
After that went chemist & bought the “tlc” stuff so I don’t fuck up my lip.
Was with Jaci on zeh werribee train to get home.
When I got home, thank god family friends were there, cause I knew mum’d kick my ass for getting a piercing. She did skitz it, but luckily with family friends there, her head didn’t explode. Mum managed to hit me though.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
7:46AM
Several nights ago, blackmailed mum by only adding mp3's to her new mobile phone (cause she didn't know how to do it && kept asking me) unless she "un"grounded me as I'd been for 5 weekends already.
Her response, "Ungrounded? What are you on about?" She didn't understand the term. So explained to her that I would bother putting the songs on her phone if she lets me go out with friends again && not hassle me with overprotective parent calls to know where i am etc.
'Twas a done deal.
2/3 nights ago, was chatting to chewster online about blue-eyed jockstrap Steve (ex/bf) from 2004 && how, upon my perspective had used me etc. Then on the same night, around half an hour later I received a private phone call. Was him. Last time we ever spoke was more than a year ago. Never wanted to hear his voice or anything. Yet he managed to find my number in his old phone && assumed that we're still friends. Don't know where he thought that up.
Continuing on, mr. nice nice came into play && I didn't listen to a word said in apology for making me feel that he had used me etc. S. claims the same reasons every time. *sigh* oh well.
Friday JUNE 9th
Finished classes @ 12.45pm. Went home then city. bummed around. Around 8-9pm had kfc chips for din din. Got home @ 10.15pm. Mummy made pancakes :) I made her coffee. Went on the net feeling really crappy being cranky cause of tiredness && fell asleep with laptop beside my pillow in bed. Worst thing to have done, with lying down && typing.
Saturday JUNE 10 {long weekend: monday public holiday }
From last night's sleep, shoulders, arms & back hurt heaps && this morn i gots sniffles teeny bit.
Tonight is our year 12 formal somewhere @ Botanical Gardens in the city && i wont be there. I kind of regret refusing to rock up/frock up, cause most friends in our group, are. They're gonna have a ball. Surely hope they the time of their lives. 'Tis one v. speshie occasion. The most important, in which i'll miss :(
In replacement of this event is just celebrating Rosanna's 14th birthday @ a filo independence day dinner dance or some shit. Her mum's dragging her along. Sean & Stu can't come so they're staying home, but Roby her older bro is coming, same with mum, aunt && I. Am only going though for Rosanna's sake as she won't have any other girl in the teenage age she knows, to talk to etc.
Dress code for the dinner dance is semi formal. Might wear baby pink dress or black. Yay! && get to wear heels. I like dressing up all schnazzy at times. Probably boogie on the dancefloor if the music is alright/catchy/decent/good. If i can be bothered, will try to take photos tonight.
If not, i'll pig out on food. Cause FOOD IS FOREVER!!!!!!
{Start note} Year 12 Retreat CAMP. Our religious retreat ('sif teacher's && principal should have a right to call it camp whenwe're going to be doing work && getting assessed on fucking tasks there!) for 3 days from wednesday june 14 to 16. It's some country area in Neerim. IDK where NEERIM IS? Saw some photos of it on school site. Looks really boring. All i saw was carpeted floor & worn out bunk beds etc. && Damn. There were no cows in the background of the outdoor pictures. {End note}
...Continuing current rant... ergh i have a headache & am hungie nows. Freezing outside && in the lounge, kitchen. :/ *listening to music* Still half asleep. Going to freeze like hell when we go to 501 for the dinner dance :| humm…
Song relevant to past relationships..
BEFORE YOU THERE WAS EVERYTHING LYRICS: by Beloved (us)
I made you promises, but i want them back
I gave you everything, but you stabbed me in the back
I finally figured out, that i can live without the pain i feel inside
I've opened up my eyes, begun to realize i trusted way to many lies
It's time to pick up the pieces now, am i falling down?
Am i drowning out?
Am i the only one who sees things this way?
Well, i guess it goes to show
Put me on my swing
I can see the whole world from here and i feel so alive
After all was said and done, more was said than done
(missing out on me)
Put me on my swing
I can see the whole world from here and i feel so alive
Your missing out on me, baby out on me
Put me on my swing
I can see the whole world from here and i feel so alive
And i'm waiting, for you there
For you to care
I can see it in your eyes
And i'm running, but not giving up
Just giving in for now
Cause i can't pretend it's all ok
mm in myspace chat yes. myspace "Australia && NZ chat". it was ok. now im fed up. mmm just ate pancakes. all gone! :( and cant make more cause ingredients ran out :|
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
For the last two weeks have been grounded & remains to be this way as far as i'm concerned. Mum officially stated it. Reason being was for being out till 11pm in the city with friends the last several weekends & coming home @ around 12.30 (night).
Last Saturday considering couldn't go out to see friends, dragged myself along with mum & also Rosanna(family friends kid we invited) to Cinemas to see Xmen 3. I felt no excitement about seeing the movie because im kind of over films. Though when it finished, i was left to comment that it wasn't so bad as a third sequal. Friend told me yesterday arvo that after the credits, there was a snippet of like a short "..this is obvious to show that we movie makers are going to have yet another sequel!" -_-" *cough* better be good though.
The previous saturday before last, was with mum to h.p. can't remember what happened. nothing fun as far as i can recall. bought a plain black hoodie (jumper w/ pocket @ front). nice & warm. Oh, that's right! now i know :| There was a Buddha Festival. This day had asked mum if i was able to collect decent flyers & free mags in the city for media research, but she said i spoke complete bullshit and said no. Luckily, family friend (adult) came here & mentioned the buddha festival @ fed. square. Mum's friend (f.friend) wanted to go to see what was there & to pretty much eat food. lol. If it weren't for her making sure mum, other aunt & I went, the following would never have happened:
- managed to get flyers etc..
- losing mother in the crowd @ fed. square (during the buddha fest.) after she let me buy food @ macca's.I returned trying to message her on the mobile.She said she'd reply back. She never did!
-So, having waited @ flinders st station for mother to get back to me in which she didn't (as i'd found out later that day that she ran out of credit to sms me back -_-") i bumped into friends at the steps.
-Hugs hugs hugs, chatter chatter chatter. Park etc etc Macca's again!!! was fun. and yes, this was the 2nd weekend of being grounded.
-Was allowed to stay in the city till 6pm. then had to go home otherwise mum would've called the cops on me & also would've rung Dad to dob me in.
-Ducky you were so cute when the zombiefest retards had come flooding through the crowd scaring the living jesus into every person that ended up near them (they made zombie noises too. it sounded constipating :| ). You freaked out & started screaming & was funny when you hugged me then said some guy took a photo of us doing that on the steps. Hope you read this, (am in doubt that you wil Ducky you bum :) ) we should've got one of the zombie people to attack the photographer that shot our photo.
-i wanted at least one of the zombietards to piggyback me. but i never took up the courage to ask. nor did i want to do so.
-Stephie & Sarah miss you two very muchly!
-etc... family friends were at our place once i arrived back home.Was a good thing, cause if they werent there, Mum would've barged into my room screaming obscenities for not having to leave the city the same time her & two aunts did. (hours that i had lost them, they had been at the casino doing god knows what... ) Never concerned me, as I'd bumped into friends during the house being in the city..
Tuesday, May 30th [melbourne, australia time..ergh. not to forget the time difference damnit.]...
Started english SAC [unit 4] informative piece. Have 5 more lessons in class to complete it. I can write short poems for it, as another option besides that & biographical, persuasive etc. so long as it does not turn into a narrative etc. (becausae folio writing on creative piece was done based on story writing etc). so yeah.
Graphics: rough typed up drafted design brief for our unit 4 final major project was due in today. Spent the whole of 40 minutes in graphics class starting & finishing it. mind you, i managed it in a rush off the top of my head. now i can't actually change the idea of what im actally producing etc.
Media & art. dont ask! the teachers for both, give me the shits. same applies to the students. Some teachers that are nice to the students are probably the most harsh ones when it comes to grading individual work. Really sucks but eh.
MID YEAR EXAMS:
Considering am doing english & maths (no midyears, just practice for end of year english exam)& then art, media & graphics (no midyear(s)!! just E.O.Y! but that will give us arty farty students hell than the people doing science etc having complete also half a years worth of work with these midexams.).
on friday & following monday have around 2 to 2 & a half hours practice GAT exams. then the weds. is the actual one! it matters doing it :|/ I just hope i do well on it.
etc.. might edit/add more info some other time. for the time being, half asleep.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
[soty = story of the year = band...] *cough* they're not that great.
Morning:
Was so excited night before that i woke up 4am && went online. Am currently half dead. Took me almost around 2 && a half hours straightening my hair because i have the skinny one. Adding to that, my hair is really thick && lengthy.
Did all the basic preparation for the day out.
Later on in the morning... Mum, aunt && family friends, were getting ready for Lester && Carol's wedding. She will be more than 3 months pregnant when she walks up the isle. Yep. She managed to fall preggo. This is a young couple in love *supposedly* 20yo & like 19yo around. Perfect date for me as I'd had the Soty ticket.
City:
Met friends at flinders street etc bout midday. Bummed around, ate food, talk a bit etc. Since then till 5pm we were in the city, before going to festival hall. Regardless of being with mates i met last week && having met more new people, I still felt out of place. No great feeling that.
To venue:
Went with Dane there first. The others caught up afterwards. I wish i'd done the same. it was so boring sitting on concrete, waiting around. In the midst of things, i pulled a muscle /nerve on my leg as Dane pulled my arm to sit nearer to him && his two friends. It hurt like hell. Am so fucking glad i didn't leave my ipod at home.
The Story of the year gig:
my intention wasn't to see Soty, but Emery. Flogging Molly i found were alright. Only for the reason that their music is fast paced, making me want to jump around && go spastic with the headbanging. The violin etc put me off a bit. They performed second.
Sitting on the floor during their songs, i was headbanging. Cause my hairs long, when i was doing that, people gave me weird looks... -_-" FFS. haven't they seen a fucken girl do that? or is that too boyish for them!??!
*inside venue before bands started or when horsell common were just about playing:*
The FUNNIEST Highlight of the night... like seriously! Like, i needed to pee && told friends i really needed to go to the toilet. We went to the girls line.&& it was fucking long, && so, georgia, tim && Andy all said, "Go into the guys toilets!" im like, "wtf!! no way!!" (cause its just wrong and erm if theres anyone in there im fucken dead) Bad thing too was that there was a security guy sitting o na chair besides the guys toilets. But anyways continuing on..
Georgia goes, "dont worry ill go with you.." i continued, "but they'll notice im a girl!!" She said, "zip up your jacket, put your hair back, throw your hoodie on and go in.." im like fine. ok.
(Erm that was complete bullshit i found.) Tim && Andy waited outside as I strolled in.
OH FUCK! A guy walks his way out.
Our Conversation:
HOT GUY:*Looks at me. Laughs. thinks wtf?!*
him: "What are you doing here?" - in a nice, curious manner.
me: "Erm, sorry! i really needed to go. but the chicks line was long."
him: *pause. looks at me..*
me: "sorry!!!!!!"
him: *laughs, smiles cutely again*
me: *about to cry*
him: "nah. you're right."
*bye bye. he walks out smiling.*
End conversation.
As I walk out. some emo type guy was looking at himself in the mirror && i think i heard him say, "what the fuck?!?!?!"
in a surprising expression. I got out of there asap!
I think that the security guy out front of the guys toilets knew i was a girl, though didn't do anything.
man im not doing that EVER again! Was hella funny though.
Andy && Tim jest laughed by the fact that what i did, actually happened.
Horsell Common performed first. They were..... *********.... not too shabby. Didn't even know they were performing some songs. eh. no big deal.
EMERY!!!!
After that Emery went on stage. and omfg went in the mosh. Austin && Andy carried me up && jumping. i was like the only person being atop of someone's shoulders. It was soo embarassing. Everybodys eyes just turned to me or my back to them, as i kept screaming to get down. 2 of the guys from the band were watching flogging molly from the kiosk area && also signed autographs. i got both to sign my chest, but when i got in the mosh for soty simply for the hell of having fun with friends, it went away!! :'( one i got to sign the gig ticket.
SOTY!!!
I suffocated. Some girls had to get taken out from the mosh cause of some problem. i literally felt like dying because these fucking skinny smartasses were behind me saying, "whinging stops now!" I wanted to bitchslap his jockboy/golfpunk face, but i wasn't feeling too good && was in a vulnerable position. I am short you know! so being around everyone else who's taller than me made me think "should i or shouldn't i?" (be in the mosh for soty?)
*in terms of the audience*
Most of the guys were complete assholes, even towards girls, including me who got the most insulting treatment. Was surprised at this because it's plain immature to behave rudely. I found that some of the girls beside me in the mosh were really nice, && asked (other than mates) if i was ok.
I only wanted to mosh. Problem with that was i had to hold my jacket (wasn't put in the cloak room. stupid of me). Andy's mate told me to tie it tight around my waist so i did. Held Tim's hand the whole way through that we were in there. i didn't wanna risk getting lost in the crowd. i know. im a sadass, but hey, that's part of my persona. no one's perfect.
This random guy saw me in the pit && told people to keep an eye for me because im short..somehow it seemed like he found it cute. grrr.. in his words, "keep out for this little girl" or something like that. nah, he was kind though. made me happy a little. didn't express it.
then we left the mosh in search for mel && mel (theyre good friends-met them last night.) && the the rest of the group. Managed to meet few more people throughout the night. Was easier to see the band being further back on the floor or on the sides than in the center && front.
I actually dont like story of the year anymore. I used to. But since their new album && my love growing for hardcore/metalcore music than emotive, i've lost interest in them.
when soty fin'd:
Bumped into ash's friends scott && luke? err something. was meant to go with them.
i didn't hear keira call out my name. doubt she did. wish i did see her, even if it wasn't for too long.
Alot of people lost items. i found that funny. Heaps of shoes went missing too. hehe Hilarious it was seeing them search the floor. Austin found a watch. a pretty decent one too. && he got lotsa freebies. good on him. He was so into it. Makes me glad to see devotion to the music one loves. Nothing could ever take those experiences, memories, && fuzzy feelings away.
on a shitty note:
Towards the end of the night felt the same that i did earier on in the day, even though i'm so grateful that tim, georgia, andy, andy's mate, melissa, another melissa, austin && dane took bloody uber good care of me. i love you guys! && girls! On the way home by train (waited for) from spencer st station, I was completely out of energy. I jest wanted to drop dead. Couldn't though.
*on the train*
Received a private call. I shouldn't have answered. wasn't in the mood. I said, "hello?"
*insult call*
Whoever on the line:
"you're mum's a whore..."
[blah blah blah ... i heard all as a mutter ]
moi: "hmm?"
idiot: "did you hear what i said"
*pause. tiredness. fuck. why now?!*
moi: "no. im half asleep..."
idiot: *insults me && gets racist... calling me a dirty hoe, whore... * (you go through the whole list)
*thinks. i know who this bastard is. some random guy who has my number somehow,that has called me twice few weeks ago. fucking dickweed son of a bitch.*
Not gonna bother answering private calls. no one rings me now anyways unless there are plans.
etc etc blah blah blah..... i checked on my phone for how long they wasted their own time. And no, whoever it is that rang, isn't a bogan. it's only ever that the "omfg yu**core racist ********** that're worth a piece of shit, && whom have nothing better to do than try to be verbally abusive on the telephone" end up doing this to me. 1:16. Minute && 16 seconds. The call pissed me off even more, but was too tired to care && not let it ruin my enjoyment from the gig with new buddies.
As soon as I got home. Mum && I had a little screamo argument. I yelled at her as i got inside the house. she was paranoid cause of how "late" i came home. well at least im alive && not throwing up etc. It was a gig, can't expect arriving anywhere that fast if its by public transport..
Anyways,back to what happened with mum && i. this is what got me angry.
TEXT MSGS: (walking with friends to spencer.. to go home)
Mother: Be sure 2 b home by twelve coz d train is only up 2 twelve thirty
My message: Mum it myt take bit 2 get 2 train station, but wil b hme asap. my phones close to dead. Eesh.
mother: Better not miss d train or else and dont give me shit like ur fone being low bat get it
My message: Mum, i am seriously not jokn abt my phone. im prayin it doesn't go dead.
mother: Den go home now i swear i tell ur dad en dis gonna be ur last warning
my message: *really pissed off now cause she didn't believe me..* I am goin home! im on the train. Call me now then.
mother: R u on d train now
my last message: FFS yes!
grrr.
so yeah. thats why. my night totally sucked in regards to tiredness, phone call, rude crowd, me not bringing money with me to buy drinks && mum. though thats life. im over it. just want to remember all that happened last night. The good, the bad && the horrid.
MIGHT edit/add more about it sooner/later or not. depends if there's much i'd missed.
gots a lot of homework to make up for now...
Friday, May 5, 2006
I haven’t blogged in some time, purely for the fact there’s been nothing excitable that’s happened. It was & still is school & work, school & work, school & work. Fun? Not at all. Regardless of having 3 art subjects, Media/Art/Graphics, the first & second are so demanding. Teachers don’t even teach. We have to “go figure.” Doesn’t bother me doing so. I reckon the outcomes would be done in its best efforts though, than basically making the satisfactory grade.
Sports Carnival was today. Didn’t participate in any of the events because am honest to say, I just couldn’t be fucked. On another note, ‘tis probably the last time ever of wearing ugly bright green/yellow sports uniform. *sigh* After 6 years of it. Swimming carnival had past in March.
Anywho, the weather was slightly windy & clouds spread across blue sky. It poured with rain at the perfect time as soon as everyone waited for the buses to arrive to get back to school for the last two periods of classes. They were cut short. Had Art last. Was fun, listening to Mrs. McCracker (mccaughey) in conversation to me most of the time (because I nod & make myself look interested when really I was paying attention to the music blasting in my ears –So she always comes near me..) about her sons && anecdotes of whatever.
Nonetheless other stories focusing on others. She swears when she talks too. it’s funny, because teachers are most likely expected to avoid such informal casual topics & language.
She even lets us swear.
Beware of the laugh though! You know those old witches? Well, sorry miss to bag ya out still, but when she laughs… *holds breath* it’s like an old witch’s evil laugh times 3. not 10. just 3.
:::
Went to city with Kara simply for the hot food on a rainy day. No one froze in terms of the cold temperature. Bought munchies at KFC then ate it upstairs in McDonald’s. hehe. Bunch of 3 tryhard scene kids (around 17/18yo) 2 guymo’s &1 chickmo. They sat on the other side though we remained in each other’s sight. Out of nowhere, whilst we ate away at our food… The guys started combing && straightening their fucken hair!Yes, in a fast food joint!! Don’t care if people do it in like a store, but not in a food place. That’s seriously immature & let alone unhygienic. How? Hair & food = don’t mingle.
I ought to have recorded them in video using digicam, but they kept looking at my friend as she glanced at them first for being so pathetic.
I’ve no problem with scene kids. There’s a vast minority that are uber cute && kickarse. Though most of them,..mainly girls && those momo couples, get on my nerves. They’re literally everywhere ya go. And I’d hate to agree with others, but it’s true that each momo kid looks like a clone of another and so on. It becomes so obvious the more often they’re in sight.
I\m currently at home now, well past an hour since getting back from the city with my brunswick school buddy. Mum went psycho calling my friends in my phonebook on my mobile because didn’t have it with me today. She didn’t know where I was, obviously as I’d come home around 6pm. Mhmm. I knew she’d skitz it. It was accidental having to forget it this morn.
Am tired. Feel like shit.Yelled at Mum for assuming I’d left my fucking mobile at home, deliberately. She’s wrong. Parents can seriously be such overprotective whores at times. Makes me want to jump off a bloody bridge so that they’d get the picture into their thick heads.
Song that’s playing atm is Bridges Left Burning by It Dies Today. Mm. Am fond of their music. I don’t care about what others think.
Sleep sounds so good right now that I could collapse... would love && kill to, except seriously have a lot of school work which needs completing. I’ve been filling the homework/school work times with sleeping. More of it too, each day. ‘Tis nothing to be proud about either. Hmm meh. No one’s talking on msn. Fair enough. Gives me reason to get the workload out of my way & to turn boredom into something constructive. The like. Meh. Might blog sometime sooner or later. Who knows when. I could be dead.
Current mood:  annoyed
Thursday, April 27, 2006
anyways.... it's 6.30am. Am getting my emo-like hair cut later in the day. Am still half asleep. For the last hour been wandering around here in my room doing parts of art and parts of graphics work, as I'd fallen asleep early last night again... I'va gone from insomniac to hypersomniac (sleeping regular hours but added to that, the desire/want to fall asleep more/again no matter what time of the day it is -oversleeping i suppose.. along those lines- i could lie down and drop dead just like that..)
will blog later... haveto clean my room and get ready for another day of boring hell @ school.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
So how was your Valentine's day??
well, having been 2/3 days gone past since then.. i got some cute hearty cards (2 in total from school friends. who are indeed just the girls) and weird kissy faces made at me the whole school time from a friend Faith :| . she hasn't stopped blowing those kisses at me and like since this arvo she's moved on to doing it to almost everyone in our circle of friends.
Other than that, that day was not mentioned specifically when i got home. Mum & aunt decided to go out that night and i whinged about how i hate valentine's day, that im a perfect reject (NEVER HAD ANY VALENTINE!! HAHA im not surprised O.o" nor do i give a fuck.. ) and so i told her the only treat i ask of her to get me was letting me order whatever the hell i wanted from Hungry Jack's when she gets back from wherever. So she did. The timespan that i had the house to myself, i stayed on the net & bothered happily to do homework!!!!!! FFS, what bloody idiot does intend to do so on a night that could've been spent with even some close friends?!? well .. me i suppose. lol. *sigh..
-but then again, mum wouldn't let me go out on a school night
-no dosh
-i have homework! studies important (im starting to believe it and liking it more than having a social life :| )
i ordered 2 grilled chicken burgers & 2 large fries. mmmm *drools over the fries** i don't care about the ingredients used because i love healthy food & so treating myself to junk take away once every few months won't freak me!!! And it WON'T put me off eating KFC etc etc...
ahahah subway, eat flesh! ^^ :D
yeah... OMFG MY HAIR ISN'T BLACK ANYMORE!! ITS DARKY BROWN :S *saw it in the sunlight .. gahhh.. my hair's naturally black too!!!! bleh.. damn dye - mum's fault. anywhos...Am currently listening to marilyn manson. i'd love to see him perform. would be morbid as fuck but i'm hooked to his style & music...
idkwtf else to talk of... proli blog again later.. if not i'd probably be doing homework or something...
Sunday, February 12, 2006
'tis a sunday, & i got sick. first sickness for the year. it sucks having to waste a third amount of tissues in the time span of morning until 10pm.
i hate the feeling of not being able to breathe through my nose. it sucks, cause then my mouth will get all dry and plain ugh. I won't be able to have my proper sense of taste & I love my food so it's going to give me hell..
I've tried medicine, sleep, vicks, whole heap of tissues, hoping, praying etc & nothing's worked!!!!!! no matter how hard i try, i can't manage to breathe easy. any suggestions?? And no, taking drugs isnt an option.
This only gets worse. Trying to sleep with my mouth half open like a freaking fish gone demented on a sunday night to which the next day is school. O.o" Alongside that, having open discussion in class tomorrow will make me sound like a complete dick. I know for sure friends will make this humourous to remember...
gahh... After the 8 & a half weeks on holiday, i manage to just get sick now.. great. This always happens. some random day i have a tshirt n shorts on, weather changes... i get cold, notice my nose going all funny & delay in snuggling under my 3 huge doonie covers. Then from that, i'm fucked over for like 2-3 weeks. sometimes even longer,,,
I'd hate to admit, but i'd prefer throwing up over getting a blocked nose. Any rupture to any+ of my senses & i go completely mental..
for example: i was in the lounge at home watching tv. my sight - completely blacked out & i wasn't blind drunk [as mum & aunt had assumed the time this incident occurred]. I tried to feel around for a seat. I didn't know between the chair & I that mum's birthday present a friend gave which was a 25-30 centimetre glass elephant statue was there.
I the idiot had tripped over it & smacked my face right onto the corner of it. I managed to fracture my right cheek bone, bruise chin, get a black eye and hurt my jaw. simply by falling. Clumsiness & sickness love me. It's horrible.
Anywho, back to the "sick" situation. i want to call in sick tomorrow but because its the last year of highschoo, attendance is stupidly crucial. so that options out. The only thing i can think of that can minimise this nosy unbreathable irritation is getting my hands on vicks nasal spray.
I used to hate them, but since last year that i tried it, it helped heaps, but i looked like some druggie or something because of it. 'twas quite funny.
A con for having the nasal spray is getting hooked on it. The chemicals were good as. Helped my breathe, got me addicted and i stopped my bitching about tissues running out so fast...
will add more shit later.. got homework to do now :S
Current mood: crapness Current music: A Fall Farewell - zao
what i wrote IN MY PINK thoughts BOOK: backtracking
[NOTE: In present tense]
'Tis currently around 2.50pm'ish. I'm on the train to the city. Today's GWC day & I'm still annoyed & very upset that I have to miss out. I saw 3 jocks on this train. It was a little sad. hmm. collar up boys...
And there's skater babies. The little boys that are more obnoxious as ever seemed. There's like this mini fete going on at Yarraville. Train just went past it & now more people have come on to the train.
I sense that people on the train right now are watching me, but I wouldn't have a clue. When the train stopped at Yarraville, a metal / emo looking skater dude hopped on to this carriage also & omfg people sitting across from me are looking. I'm getting frightened. I'm really glad that I've my hat on today so I can avoid random glances, which to me is a good thing. I feel like such a tard right now. There are these two girls sitting across from me. Their closeness is disturbing my comfort zone, bad bad bad....
Wow... Footscray... ahahaha... A place of good cheap asian food (the noodles!!!!!) but also a place that could get you get up with major trouble. Gahhh... I've still got homework to do.. Agh. Will manage. I'm currently half asleep & listening to music on my mini poddy as i always do. I picked up that music can block thinking sometimes. hm.. Or maybe the other way around .. O.o"
God I wish i hadn't sat here, cause I knew that other people would end up filling the empty deats. I'm really tired...
This chick talks way too much. I seriously thought I was bad. But ahaha. I still can be as talkative as your typical chatterbox. you never know!!
I don't have any money on me (as i had only enough to get daily train ticket for todays), but my ipod, camera, pink little notebook, wallet and pen. omfg! to my fxcking surprise the two girls have moved to another seating space.
Least now the skater guy's in my sight. I can't tell what music he may listen to out of emo / hxc / metal. I just noticed that he has a signature deck in his hand. Fuck, he's going to GWC!!!!!!!!!! NYARGH!!!!
(Approaching Spencer Street Station) He's going... going... going.. going.... now he's gone :( ffs.
:::
Continuation of.. what i wrote IN MY PINK thoughts BOOK: backtracking
[NOTE: In present tense]
MIDDAY - ARVO:
Am here at the same spot i was at yesterday when I met the skater guys who're in yr 11. Coincidently walking around, i found Anna & some other people with her. They've got the hooj cute 30cm dolls too! All of them are dressed up and looking pretty niche. :D My legs are burning cause my black denims are absorving all the heat :/
Gah, i see more kiddies coming from the direction of Rod Laver (GWC) with the signature deck :'( . yeah. i've actually switched off my ipod cause I can't hear the music as there's a dj here playing jamaican / reggae tracks. It's okay i suppose. I can think through it.
I've seen some more skaters go past and one of them just gave me a weird aggro look. i didn't even do anything.... What's with that?! And also, Anna told me I should just get over my sociophobia and go to Flinders street station to ask Emo's & others for photographs of them for my media project - magazine whilst today's my perfect opportunity.
I see heaps more skaters coming now from the same direction. *Cries!! It's really not funny. I'm still spewing that I'm not there. I feel stupid sitting on a bench under direct sunlight. Gah, more people are watching me... :S
END of present tense.
[NOTE: In past tense]
MIDDAY - ARVO: continued
Met up with a 16yo dude from Skype. He was nerdish by the fact that he plays the violin. but the violin is awesome. but this is beyond me as i don't even know him like, for more than a week. i didn't ask to see him. i just said yes so i know who the hell i talk to on IM. he freaked me out when he text me (whilst i was there sitting in front of him in random conversation & me ignoring it.)
HIS TEXT MSG: "Heya.. U can call me now :) will u b goin bac 2 ur aunties 1st? Otherwise come ova 2 my place- id like u 2 ;) + theres no cameras. Hehe. Let me know. Love [insert his name which i will not say].."
I was just like... *glaring at him & unintentionally being a little bitchy. Well, i couldn't help it getting frustrated & angry that a 16yo likes me after that one meet. Also, he is not my type, nor do i have any interest in him that goes beyond friends. it's just never going to happen. It's not on. Not on at all...
::
[NOTE: Past tense]
Brief Recap of the rest of the day:
- Stopped being a sook and asked skaters & muso's at Flinders st if i could take their photos & in return email it to them. the Emo kids were really nice & sweet. managed some conversation with them too.
It made me happy
- Got one group of skaters in photo.
- went walking back and forth around flinders st trying to find more people to ask.
- Got shot of 2 awesome women.
- got restless and fed up walking around finding no one.
- went home.
- emailed the 4 photos.
- got to bed at around 11pm.
TODAY: [feb 12 / sunday]
-woke up around 7am. Didn't get out of bed till around 9.10am.
-Tidied room a bit
-half asleep
-didn't realise till i saw rosanna and stuart (fam. friends kids) here at our joint. didnt know they'd slept over
-weathers unpredictability caused me confusiong because supposedly checking the bureau of meteorlogy, was supposed to rain at some point. it hasn't yet & weather's warm out along with sunshine.
-the kids are still here along with their mum.
-sooo tired.. idk what else... blehs..
-since this morning got sniffles again, but worse.
Current music: young & aspiring - Underoath
Thursday, February 9, 2006
bad sleeping habit & bit of rant. [edit-eD with more words] yeps.
Current mood: craptacular
Category: Life
i like sleep. but yet every night i feel the need to stay awake, so i go against my will to get some shuteye. the most sleep i've been getting approximately per night is like less than 6 hours. Time i wake up is around 4am. that time of the morning i jump on the net and do homework. it's a dread..
im assuming its got some relevance to insomnia. maybe. i don't have a clue. currently im half asleep and a friend who doesn't want to risk breaking chainmsgs wrote this to me..
- "" Because u opened this u will get Kissed on friday by the LuV of ur life
dont break the chain cuz ur crush will ask u out n 2 morrow wil be the best
day of ur life howeva if u dont send this to 10 ppl by 11 tonight: u wil
have bad luck for the rest of ur life Just copy n paste] "" -
now... what i don't know is, why do people bother abiding by chainspams that usually has the.."omg if you don't post this to whatever number of people you'll get bad luck for like... whatever period of time..."
Also, i noticed that there are spelling errors which i think really ends the belief of this chainmsg.
Are they as sad as me with my naivity?. As anti skeptic a person i am in discussion, i am pretty much skeptical of this letter kind. it is beyond me to try and bother deciphering random emailers' thoughts on forwarding this shit to anybody on their msg list. gah *yawn*
..
David's home and he brought his gf here. as my presence in the house became obvious to him when i turned the kettle on in the kitchen whilst his bedroom door was pretty wide open (and i could hear their voices but not their conversation, not that i want to hear it because they're both annoying) and he like.. shut his door hard as if he's got a problem with me being here. well, thing is.. he doesn't pay shit rent here and he's already 18. he's put his social life and gf before savings and the fact that his mum here always lets him gets what he fucking wants, even after all his bitching. Every time he's home, he's always complaining about every little thing. All of it links back to him and his self-centredness.. i realised that he's more of a / the bitch than i ever thought i could be at times...
one day i will stop my passiveness with him and scream till he stops being the bully whore just so he couldn't feel anymore better about himself to feed his fucking ego..
Other than that, about 2 minutes ago i spilt coffee on my carpet floor in my room. mum wil kick me if she sees the stain. :| sdgasrfh
Current mood:  sleepy Current music: Sic Transit Gloria... Glory fades - Brand New
Sunday, February 5, 2006
Last night, went to bed early. During the night, my cousin rang me up and said i'm one of the candles for her 18th debutante. And when i asked her if there was going to be dancing, she said yes. it was soo unexpected and im happy about this at all. this is going to be the third fucking deb that i have to attend to and it's bad because it's year 12 and like the date for her deb is in June which is when we have our mid year exams!!!!!!!!
I hate dancing at debs &i hate wearing formal dresses including dresses in general because i look like crap in them. Seriously. Also, it's just not me and i find it very uncomfortable >.< nyargh.... i don't mean to be so whiny about it, but like we have to go to dancing practice too during school week(s) in april and it's not a good time cause of mid year exam study. How the fuck am i going to manage this? Because i have no idea. and her older sister's deb i had to be part of last year put me through the most humiliation ever. i hate her.
I'm so tired but i managed to get about 8 to 9 hours sleep last night from around midnight till 10am'ish. good stuff, but found i just wanted to stay in bed longer... .don't know why that happens. it's odd.
Currently i'm tired as hell from the weather. I'm going to do some homework though to keep ahead. hmm.. i still miss my ex *cries... i'll never get over him, regardless of moving on....
gah.. school tomorrow. it sucks.. mondays are my bad days.
Current mood: cranky Current music: Some Will Seek Forgiveness - Underoath
Thursday, February 2, 2006
Today's the second day of year 12 for 2006 and i never thought that it would be okay. I have survived so far and have been good, doing my homework and getting ahead of my assignments etc etc. Am still in much love with my school combination lock. its so fun!! ^,^
i'm just taking some time out for the moment to recap on the last few days or so before i head off to continue my work.
Last night i got to bed at around midnightish. woke up at around 4am and got right into doing some media homework on Punch Drunk Love. Went school.. and it'll be too much and too boring to explain so yeah..
This afternoon, i only found out that this alright nice chick in my homeroom class at school is actually my next door neighbour!! Ever since we've moved into the house (December 22 2005) next to her place, i've never known that she was our neighbour! lol.. up until today.. heheh.. soooo weird. i never ever ever would think that a neighbour would be someone at all from school and especially in the same class!! hehe...
Tomorrow for our year level, we're all going by bus for a careers day excursion (6 hours!! its awesome) in Geelong, Waurn Ponds. And it's free dress. thank gawd! Great thing to be in casual on a Friday. :D
holy crap. am just eating a really creamy ball of chocolate!!!! its... really melty-like. some of it is like stuck in my throat.. eesh :S I am actually an anti-chocolate person. it's too sweet for me. the only kind of chocolate i would eat though is specifically "cherry ripe" or other dark chocolate in general..
yeah.. well anyways, mum and aunt went out to go bingo.. hehe.. yer.. so weird.. .meh.. i watched last few minutes of the simpsons, then watched the news, then um.. put on Daddy Day Care (Dvd) in the lounge whilst i pretty much focsed on doing my artwork. :D mmm art
yummy...
atm downloading songs and doing art stuff and listening to music.
Current mood: bleh..? Current music: Papercuts And Broken Hearts - Keepsake
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
well, am currently in school at the moment. period 3, study free time. um.. this morning was running just a little bit smoothly. Um.. We got more privileges than i thought. like, our upstairs corridor, like the rooms were renovated, we don't have to share a locker, we got our own combination locks (which was the highlight of this morning because i memorized my numbers and know when to turn it left or right!!! woohoo!! and like i helped about 3 or 4 people out with managing how to open their locks!!)
We got our VCE II badges, get our own Art studio (bigger one!!) and have got a coffee machine that i'm going to love for this last year of school.. gawd, when i think about how it's yr 12, last year of fucking highschool... Makes me think, "Woah, have made it this far and then i'm off to travel once final exams are over.. wowsh... im still in shock.."
Mhmm. I know that the feeling of getting over and used to it will happen, but still. Going through a last year is fucking great.
Other than that, i can listen to music on my ipod freely during study periods without being told off by any teacher... mhmm.. gotta love music. and this damn keyboard is so clicky that it's confusing my touch typing... gah.... anyways, will type again soon.... im going blind and my wrists are hurting from typing so weirdly..
Saturday, January 28, 2006
ever since drank coke last night, my stomach's been playing up, even up to this point of the fucking morning. it sucks. Been hooked on downloading songs and managed not even a third of holiday homework to which i will have to make a huge move on with today. cause got school in 3 days time and im beyond unprepared!! and just mentioning it is stressing me out..
mhmm uh huh... nothing else much has been happening. blarh... am so cranky atm. not enough sleep i suppose. don't even know why i'm up so early in the morning. some mates pissing me off with their lameass jokes on msn, which is no laughing matter.
oh, our reunion from last night is added to the bad memories. it wasn't worth gathering everyone together because they were all to stereotypical and the guys were complete bastards towards me. i didn't even do anything nor say anything and they just kept at making me feel like a major dickhead. i wanted to leave when two of best friends had left after an hour's stay cause they had better plans on the night. i'm glad they got their way out though. Not only that, but we'd ended the night an hour early and it was pouring rain..
going to lie down for awhile. still really tired and half asleep. main reason im awake is cause downloading songs...
Current mood: fucking cranky Current music: A little piece of Me - Walls of Jericho
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Jan 23 '06
This morning got up around 7am ish. Finally this morning gran & I managed to take a stroll at the beach & weather wasn’t too bad. A little drizzle though. Took photos of the pier, sand with water etc etc.
After we’d walked to the other end of the beach, at Pier st, we went into Coles Supermarket. Lmao. I talked her into buying me Oscar the Grouch’ baby sesame street plushie. Soooo cute!!! :D hehe grouch. Groceries, groceries, groceries.
Anyways, whilst walking around, there was this guy working there got my attention. He looked around 18, 19 & for a non-rocker guy, he was hot. I got weirded out when I had noticed him watching me the whole time with gran as he kept on with working. :O
I was like thinking, “holy fuck…. Sfgshsdtjwsetyreas …. He’s no rocker or anything like, but he’s the first one I think is pretty sMexy.” Mhmm. I get all funny and nerve-racked when I sense some random eyeing / watching me.
So like, after we left, we took the street route to walk back home. Took like 15 minutes max. we got inside by 8.40am. On the internet I went and Brian, a friend of a friend (Nathan’s) invited me to go city with them today. So like I said yeah.
10.34am at Seaholme Station. Brian (first time meeting him, hes weird!!) came down from the train although Nathan wasn’t there. All this shit he had to explain to me about going to meet Nathan over at Altona Station. So because Nathan the idiot didn’t bring his mobile we had to figure he would’ve been waiting or something back at Altona. We walked there and were like, the fucking fag’s not here. We assumed he’d either already left or something, or that he was just goddamn arriving late.
Nathan rocked up at the station just in time. As conversation went on, in the background I noticed a cigarette some fucking retard must’ve thrown onto the dirt along the side of the train tracks had smoke coming out… I was like.. hmm.. it’s going to light up in flames. Other people only had just noticed it after I’d said it.. lmao was funny. So I pointed out and I was right. I couldn’t help it, I laughed. More smoke had risen & flames flickered up fast. I told nathan to go jump down and put the fire out, in which he did by stomping on it gladly and then went all jokey braggish about. :D It was a heroic act and he had brekky this morning so he looked like he was on too many anti-depressants. He was all-smiles. Both of them were loud and spastic. I was calm & listened to music on my poddy. Their humour was out of line and they made themselves look like complete fuckheads. It was kinda funny to see that though. Becase I get involved with their antics.
Lol. These kiddy jockfucks on their “omfg our bmx bikes kickass” kept looking at me ,brian & nathan. Then other people looked at us too! Hehe.
On train to city:
Nathan & Brian just talked and “blaahhhhhh” (scream / NATHAN)
I just listened to music avoiding N’s hypo randomness.
First Stop: Coles!!!
Bahahaahaha. N (nathan) wanted to go there to get his foods. Lol. He wanted to save money & kept saying he’s off junk food cause he implied that he’s fat. Makes him a major cunt for saying so, cause hes slim as fuck! Sheesh.
Hahaa. Wanna know what he bought there? Well… lol. 2 nectarines, and a banana flavored big m. B (brian) just got a choco big m. Both opened their carton on the wrong “open here” side. Lol, ffs.
We then went to Allans Music store. They had so many fuckingtacular guitars & drum kits *drools… mmmmm.. browsed around there. Was awesome. The people working there though (like 18-22yos maybe?) kept looking at me weird :S. made me panic. :(
After that. Into reject shop. B wanted to go there for food cause he didn’t have enough dosh to get junk food.. :S. I hate that shop. N got some food there too. mini dippers or something. Lol.
THEN! went to 7/11 (best joint to go to at night for mini munchies: well for me anyways).. just got V.drink. Made me hypo as and chatterboxy whilst walking to the state library.
Once there. All bags had to be cloaked. it wasn’t free either. Its freaking demented. N was fiddling with the locker machine for like 5 minutes in fascination.
Walked around looking at paintings. N made inappropriate remarks about them which I wasn’t too happy about. So during the day I decided to punch and slap him for most of his mean mocking words said. B & N bagged me apparently jokingly all day. It wasn’t nice :( hmm.. boys will be boys I suppose. Because they wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t control my screaming even when other people were around and heard me. I didn’t give a shit how they reacted. That’s the most random-driven screaming I’ve ever gone through in a day. It’s messed up.
Anyways, back to the library stuff. As we headed to the front grassy huge area of the library, uni students were everywhere. It was nice seeing so many people enjoying the sunshine. Uni students stared at us three.. argh… I hate starers. Very disturbing.
We went into the Chess Room. Both of them played. Nathan won, and it was unexpected cause in general hes a no-brainer. Seriously! And yet seeing him win at chess is unbelievable. Gah… im soo tired… After chess game, they played Suicide Chess. How it works you wonder? Well, B made the game up with his mates one random day and basically, when you make a move & theres a pawn that you can eat up.. then you must take. So basically, you HAVE to EAT THE PAWN thingy and cop it in the ass getting the same treatment of your owns being removed from the board. And yes there is a winner. The first person who berids of their opponents pieces first. All the pawns have the same value. So yeah. Just as we were headed out from the room, N put all the pieces on the board spelling, “FUCK U.” managed to use all of them to make it. I wanted to kill him for leaving it like that.
Cloakroom. Got our shit then went bumming around in the fresh air again. Went into Off Ya Tree store looking at the band shirts. Their shirts cost at least a little bit less than the ones at Smoke Dreams. BUT! Smoke Dreams has a huge band shirt range. ‘Cept majority per shirt costs fifty bucks.. nyargh.. I wanna go to Richmond where a store I’ve been to there a few times already has heaps of shirts too, Has more girls tees too. Beats OYT & SM.
I wanted to go band shirt hunting. The stores that sell them at a decent fair price. Cause im not going to waste paying more when I need not to. So then we went to go check out Metal Mayhem. The girls band t’s there were a little plain with just band name all pretty printed on it & the sizes weren’t right for me. Plus, they’re fitted shirts which I don’t like wearing, the sizes of the shirts (most) are too small, the ones that are my perfect size (10) have bands on it that I don’t recognize.. bluh… whacks head on keyboard*
Mhmm.. B wanted to go home after it. So him & I caught train back home whilst N had to go elsewhere in city through transport to go see his girlfriend in greensborough or some shit like that…
When got home, tidied room a little. Slightly obsessive compulsive about room cleanliness. Then as people were home, walked to Altona 15 minutes away to Video ezy for dvds must watch for School. Watched “Prey for Rock ‘n’ roll.” It’s good for getting ideas and stuff for media and / or graphics. Perfect. Blah Blah Blah..
I can’t really remember much else from there. Was probably on the net or something. Family friends came over again because it was Grandma’s last day here in Australia before she has to leave again from the next day for the Philippines. I’m going to miss her a lot. Along with her kickass cooking.
I slept at around 12.20am.
::::
TODAY TODAY JANUARY 24th
This morning, mum, aunt & I took grandma to Melbourne Airport for her departure to head back overseas. I’d slept whilst on way there, I was still tired as.
When we were just sitting down, I saw out the huge glass windows rocker guys placing their packeed up muso equipment onto the trolley. I was wondering who they were. Though didn’t recognise them the whole time I’d stared.
Moving on, with the time that was left before gran’s flight, we went around the place a bit and had food at HJ’s (hungry Jacks). I had a hash brown, chips and few onion rings & coffee :D. It got me mental. And yes, I anti-socially brought my mini poddy with me, having listen to music since we left the bloody house!! Lol.
Weather was actually colder today. Wasn’t thinking that’d happen. Oh well. No big a deal anywho.
After saying our “so-long-for-now’s” to mommy (grandma) once she’d gone through security we headed back. Dropped by Altona Gate. I spent just about 40 bucks from my wallet for stationary stuff for school. Gah. Mhmm. Went home.
Watched Gattaca (second DVD I borrowed from Vid Ezy) in the lounge room & took down some notes. This for English.
When it finished, Cleaned room up more & organised the school things. Now im on the net doing some homework, researching & listening to music. All that jazz. etc etc don’t ask.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
YesterdaY, the weather was a pain. grandma had gone at 6am for a pretty long walk from the beach up to the esplanade without me. she said she was calling me, but i was flat out. no one knew i'd gone to bed at about 4.40am. really bad. i dont like sleeping at that time. I like my sleep, but being the idiot that i am, can't stop going on the internet.. I'm usually on the net about more than 18 hours per day. that's beyond ridiculous. i mean, the internet isn't everything. it doesn't have feelings or gives hugs. gives lag out like some freaking spambot though. its a pain..
but on another subject. have been on the net (remember, this is a recap of yesterday!!) on vampirefreaks, msn, emails, bleh bleh.. i took photos at altona beach at around 7.30pm. went with mums friend and her three kids who went swimming in the water. there was breeze... Took a lot of sky/sun/scenery type photos and submit it to DA. mhmm i haven't submitted anything there in quite some time. so yeah. i don't want to leave it that way either..
I also made a banner & background for Andrew's vampirefreaks cult, which he's highly grateful for. aww the sweetness. Weather managed to reach over 36 degrees today.. it's crazy. this heat is good for me in a sense that i literally won't eat because of it. the bad thing is the stuffiness of my bedroom once its shut. its been twice that i get nauseatic pains in my stomach (feeling of vomiting but there's nothing coming out) and then the literal running to the bathroom to chuck up scenario happening over the hours of heat that go beyond the thirty six degree weather. bad eh? yeh hell it is.
css and html suck balls even though i know a fair amount of it.
just remembered to mention. was meant to go to Ashleigh's party, but when a friend of hers i spoke to later last night on msn, said it was borin so he left early with his mates. am kind of glad mum had said no (nicely for once!), otherwise i would have been bored shitless at her place. mhmm mummy didn't chop my bloody head off nor gave any lame excuse for me not to have a life...
:::
TODAY (morning jan 22)
Family friends are still here at our house chitshatting and whatnot. it's annoying because the parents had been drinking since like last night and im assuming that they still are or maybe turned to coffee. I've no idea what is so exciting on television at this time of the morning, whatever the hell they're watching... bleh.. i've been listening to music since all of yesterday.. i am so out of it at the moment and family friends including the kids are wide awake and still having conversation and laughing. bleh. soo annoying, whilst i keep myself in my room typing away mind-talking to myself...
oh yay, DA comments.. meh. bah.. pins and needles on my foot. and now family friends are making more noise than they did previously what the hell on earth are they doing.!!!!!
yay!!!! blink 182. grrr... roselynd (a family friends daughter who's 3 months younger than me / she is a whore) won't shut her gob in the lounge. Even if my door is shut and the dining room is in between, and the walls are solid, doesn't mean that in here it's soundproof because it's not. Why? Because these tall doors aren't airtight. so i pick up all the external noise. even peoples footsteps on the floorboards.
holy fxck!!! its going to be 43 degrees later today. bah. i'm not going to surivive it i dont think without getting sick. uh ohhhh.... *cries... my eyes keep slowly shutting & the yawns haven't stopped. :S will take 5 mins closing eyes... yeah..
Saturday, January 21, 2006
2:32AM
Woke up at 6.45am. I don’t know why I did at that time cause slept like 1-2am’ish last night. Today’s weather’s only got worse with the heat along with rain and lightning.
Late midday managed to some more reading for english holiday homework. I’ve gone through Acts I and II of the Playwright “View From the Bridge / All My Sons.” It doesn’t quite catch my interest, but I’ll live through it.
After that I fell asleep for around two hours. Heat still the same as before. I don’t think I’ll last with my fan mini box fan if this keeps up. My room gets the most hot air. Grr…
Currently listening to music on ipoddy. Had been downloading songs again like last night. It’s fun getting the songs, but not the lag. Dial up sucks.
I’m still wishing to have one year subscription to vampirefreaks because I’m a sad net junkie with no social life because of an overprotective sussy mum. Meh. I hate it when parents care too much expressed like this… “We only want what’s best for you.. we care.” (My translation: by not letting you have a life of your own).
Ahem. What I’d like to respond back.. “CAN YOU NOT!#$%^ CARE SO MUCH!!!”
Yeah. Anywho.. Today’s Friday and it doesn’t feel like it. I saw on our table that we have Coke ZERO, yes coke with no fucking sugar, like omfg!!!!! That’s like so not real!.. .and I who literally can’t handle coke because of its fizziness that drives me up the wall, took a glass & drank some. Up until this point in time, I’ve got little bit of it left in my drink. I can tell the difference in its taste. Kind-er tastes like double sars but flat. Lmao. Eew.. I just choked on it.. gah…
Friday, January 20, 2006
This morning, woke up several minutes before 8am and I wasn’t cranky like I usually would be. Sun was out today & and throughout the passing hours I didn’t expect the heat to rise more than what was expected. My room gets all the heat which sucks cause everyone else’s rooms aren’t like that. So mum bought me a decent medium sized fan for christmas pressie from last year.
Since today is now officially Friday, Gran said yesterday for us to go for an early morning’s walk at the beach because it was too late when I had asked her. So like in about 7 or 8 hours time we’d be out of the house.. hmm fun fun..
What I pretty much did last night was download songs. Metal bands. :D mmhm.. its fucktastic. :D and boy do I really need to sleep…
Msn people are like.. idled… bleh.. my eyes are messing up my sight at the moment.
Yet again I’m feeling crap. Mum, Aunt & Grandma haven’t come back from B I N G O… lmao.. bahaha I hate that word.. makes me laugh. Oh fuck.. mums home
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Not much to say so far considering it hasn't reached lunch yet. Got to sleep last night at around 1am. Was the best sleep i ever had recently, cause i didn't get disrupted at all. Didn't even pick up a sound whilst asleep.
This morning took new photo (57 shots) & out of them only 2 i kept. The rest just kept on sd card. For brekky had milo... which easily went cold. doesn't taste nice when it goes like that..
Just remembered too that it's both my aunt & uncle's birthday today. it's soo cute. They're my favourite rellies. Both of them a couple with cutest baby boy and it's so awesome that both their birthdays are exact.... :D match made in heaven? yeah, i reckon.
Sunshine is out. not as much cloud as it was yesterday... got some profile content editing to do...
blog back sooner or later today/night..
Current mood:  calm Current music: Story of A Girl - Nine Days
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